Dating advice blog.


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Matchmaker vs Dating Coach

– Examining the Costs, Pros, Cons, & More when it comes to working with a Matchmaker or Dating Coach –

Many singles that truly desire love and are ready for a meaningful relationship find themselves completely worn down from the dating process. Dating in today’s world can be exhausting. 

Modern, smart, and successful singles find themselves open to unconventional ways of helping them succeed at love more than ever before.

The two most common “love professionals” are matchmakers and dating coaches.

A matchmaker and dating coach have the same goals, but operate extremely differently.


The cost, approach, and guidance offered varies greatly with each profession.

When considering hiring professional guidance, it’s important you know that your needs will be met.

So which professional should you work with? Matchmaker or dating coach? Let’s take a look at each.


Matchmaker vs. Dating Coach



Matchmaking is a personal and very hands-on professional approach. Most matchmakers will personally meet with all of their clients and interview them in depth. The matchmaker’s goal is to get to know you as well as possible so that she can pull from her database of singles and set you up with a compatible date. Often times, your matchmaker will provide pre-date guidance and post-date feedback to help you be successful. Matchmakers save you time by prescreening your dates to only setting you up with potentially compatible matches.

The Process

Most matchmakers will screen you (background check, prove that your status is single, etc) to ensure you’re truly available to be set up with existing clients.

You’ll begin the process with a consultation to see if you are a fit. Once accepted, the matchmaker will set up your interview. The interview process will ideally happen in-person but can occur over phone, FaceTime, or Skype. The interview will be extremely personal and you must be completely honest. A matchmaker is only able to set you up with compatible matches if she truly knows your desires and deal breakers.

After your matchmaker gets to know you, her real work begins. You’re able to relax and simply wait for her to bring the dates to you.

Some matchmaking companies guarantee a number of dates per month (ex: 1 date per month) while others guarantee per year (ex: 15 dates per year). After your dates, many matchmakers will help you improve your first impression skills and gain feedback on what you thought about your date.

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Time Commitment

Love doesn’t happen overnight! Most matchmakers ask for either a 6 month or 12 month commitment to the process.


According to, the Better Business Bureau reports that the average cost of a matchmaker is $10,000.

Consumer affairs states that prices generally range from $5,000- $50,000 per year (

Each matchmaking service varies greatly from one to the other. The saying, “You get what you pay for” definitely applies. More experienced matchmakers obviously offer more value to their clients and their prices often reflect it.

Pattie Stanger’s services start at $45,000 and go all the way up to $100,000 per year (

Selective Search shared with that their average client’s cost is from $25,000- $50,000.


There are many advantages to using a credible matchmaking service:

  • Time saved— this service typically does everything for you (interviewing, screening, and researching potential matches) so you can spend your time dating singles that are compatible with you
  • Personalized attention
  • No more flipping through online photos or stressing about approaching a stranger
  • Dates with compatible singles
  • Quality instead of quantity of dates
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Nothing in life is fool proof. Here are some cons to consider:

  • No guarantee of finding love
  • A matchmaker is limited to her database
  • Cost
  • You’re often limited in the number of dates
  • Periods of time when “no compatible matches” are found
  • Only guaranteed “meetings” not relationships
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Before Hiring a Matchmaker

You deserve a matchmaker that can meet your personal needs. Consider these topics and potential questions:

  • How long will I have to wait before my first date?
  • How do you find compatible matches for me? (limited to her own database, utilize other matchmaker’s databases, searching for matches on the street, etc.)
  • How long will it realistically take for me to be introduced to say, 5 people?
  • What is your experience and qualifications?
  • What are you able to guarantee me?
Red Flag!

Do NOT hire a matchmaker that doesn’t personally interview you or attempt to truly get to know you. The purpose is to gain personalized support. Steer clear of the use of computerized algorithms and quizzes in order to “get to know you.”

Also, make sure you understand where and how your dates will be found. Many matchmakers only have access to their own database (clients currently working with her). Ensure she either has access to a rather large database or finds matches in another acceptable manner.

Want to know even more about matchmaking? is a site created by former matchmakers and undercover dating industry consultants with insider knowledge about matchmaking companies. They share the 8 indicators matchmaking might work for you as well as other helpful insights and information.

Dating Coach


A dating coach will push you to achieve more than a successful relationship.

A dating coach (not to be mistaken with a Pick-up artist) is similar to a life coach, but with a specialty niche in this specific timeframe of your life. Dating coaches will focus on developing you as a person and bring objectivity into your love life.

Coaches will target a wide range of issues: online dating profiles, selecting dates, flirting, styling, communication, self-esteem, how you present yourself, etc. The result is arming a client with the confidence and practical skills necessary to succeed at finding a loving relationship. Dating coaches help you become in touch with your authentic self and find the type of relationship you desire.

Should you hire a dating coach? Learn more.

The Process

Most coaches will offer a consultation in order to see if the two of you will work well together. After your needs are assessed, your coach will create a personalized plan for improvement. Your dating coach will meet with you (weekly, every other week, monthly, etc) and lead you through the challenges your facing. Meetings are normally on the phone, FaceTime, or Skype. Many dating coaches offer opportunities to meet in person if feasible.

Some dating coaches will provide assignments (self-assessments, worksheets, check-in emails, etc) in between meetings in order to maximize growth and take full advantage of meetings.

Your dating coach will bring an objective voice to your dating scenarios. You’ll have a professional solely looking out for your goals and that will help you succeed at accomplishing them.

You must be willing to invest time and effort into shifting certain behavioral patterns and be open for change. Dating coaches guide you into maximizing your strengths and increasing your attraction.

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Time Commitment

The way you’ve been dating hasn’t been working. Changing your approach and perception about dating doesn’t happen over night. 

The typical best time frame to work with a coach is 6 months. At times, a coach will work with a client for an entire year. The most common time frame is 3 months. Occasionally, a very specific and targeted issue may improve after 1 month.

Learn more truths that most dating coaches won’t tell you.


Coaches vary greatly on their price depending on their experience and level of expertise.

Individual coaches also approach meetings with their clients very differently. Coaches may charge by the hour (instead of a set program, you select the number of sessions you wish to meet with your coach), the package (more services may be included than just the scheduled meetings), or by the month (some allow unlimited access while others have a set amount of contact included).

Entrepreneur reports on several dating coaches, many who charge between $300 per hour to $13,000 for longer term projects (

A decade ago, in 2007, stated that the average cost of a dating coach was $125 hour.

Business insider reported on a dating coach who charges $9,400 for 20 sessions (that’s $470 per meeting). (


There are many advantages to hiring the right dating coach for you:

  • Master the skill set needed to succeed in the modern dating world (online dating, prescreening dates, meeting new singles, first date skills etc.)
  • Develop a greater self-awareness, clarity, and confidence
  • Professional insights that will bring objectivity to your dating scenarios
  • Guidance in accomplishing your personalized goals
  • Advice you can actually trust
  • Motivation to stay on track when on the verge of dating burn-out
  • Gain a fresh new perspective on finding love
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Once again, nothing is foolproof. Here are some cons:

  • No guarantee at finding love: You must fully commit to the process
  • Time commitment: from meeting with your coach to weekly assignments
  • Challenging: changing the way you’ve been doing things is hard work
  • Cost: while greatly less then a matchmaker, you still must be willing to invest in yourself
  • Chance of hiring an inexperienced or under qualified coach
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Before hiring a Dating Coach

You deserve a dating coach that can meet your personal needs. Before hiring a dating coach, consider these topics and questions:

  • What is your experience and qualifications?
  • Outside of our scheduled meetings, am I able to contact you?
  • What experience do you have with online dating and with which sites?
  • Will we have any interactions in-between scheduled meetings? (emails, assignments, assessments, etc)

Lean more about how to find the right dating coach for you.

Red Flag!

Do NOT hire a dating coach that guarantees results if you use their certain “tricks” or “tips”.

Engaging in programs or coaching with unrealistic claims such as “Make Him Fall in Love with You” or “Catch Anyone You Want” offer short sited information that can be damaging in the long run.

Growth and lasting results should be your goal.


Matchmaker vs Dating Coach: Which is right for you?

pexels-photoWhile matchmakers and dating coaches both have the same goal (helping you find love!) their approach and processes are incredibly different.

Individual matchmakers and dating coaches vary greatly from one to the other. Once you decide if you’d benefit more from a matchmaker or dating coach, it’s incredibly important for you to do your research on the individual or company.

Most reputable matchmakers and coaches will allow you to apply for a consultation. Take advantage of this! The consultation can help determine if you’d work well together and screen out inexperienced individuals.

With both professionals, steer clear of unrealistic guarantees. The matchmaker or dating coach that utilizes gimmicks as solutions often doesn’t have your personal goals as their number one priority. (Discover more truths that most dating coaches won’t tell you.)

Great matchmakers and dating coaches understand their value and deserve to be compensated for their time, but this isn’t what drives them the most. These individuals love helping people and only want to work with clients that are ready for a change. Dedicated matchmakers and dating coaches got into the profession simply for one reason: they love love.

You don’t have to continue on this path alone. The right “love professional” is out there for you!

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