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How to Find the Right Dating Coach

Dating can be frustrating, especially when you’re ready for a loving relationship. You’ve decided it’s time to make a drastic change and are considering working with a professional. Great! Now what? How do you find the right dating coach for you?

With all the struggles in today’s dating world, it’s become incredibly common for smart and successful singles to consider working with an expert. (Learn more: Should I Hire a Dating Coach?)

Love Experts to the Rescue

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The most common “love” professional singles hire are dating coaches. Expert and experienced dating coaches will push you to achieve more than a successful relationship. They’ll bring objectivity into your love life and help you become more in touch with your authentic self.

A dating coach is similar to a life coach, but with a specialty niche in this specific timeframe of your life. Many coaches will assess your needs and develop a personalized plan to lead you through your challenges.

Sounds great, right? It really is— if you hire the right coach.

“Expert” Qualifications

Dating coaching is a growing and expanding field. People from many different backgrounds place themselves in this profession. While there are many (and I mean many!) high-quality, beneficial, and qualified dating coaches… there are just as many not-so high-quality, not-so-beneficial, and not-so-qualified dating coaches out there.

Working with a dating coach can be a great investment in yourself and your future happiness. Hiring the wrong dating coach can turn into a waste of money and valuable time.

 

So what can you do to make sure you’ve found the right dating coach for you? If you take the time to follow these guidelines, you can ensure you’ll be working with a dating coach that will positively impact your life. The right coach will arm you with the confidence and practical skills necessary to find the loving relationship you deserve!


How to Find the Right Dating Coach For You

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Explore the Website

A dating coach’s website gives you crucial insights. After exploring their website, you should be able to get a feel for who they are as coach. (If you can’t— then move on!)

Make sure you read everything in their “About” section and the descriptions of how he/she intends to work with you.

  • What is her/his approach?
  • Does she/he have experiences you can learn from?
  • What is her/his tone?
  • What is her/his background?
  • Is she/he positive?

Read the Blog

Read her/his blog and any other free content available. The blog is the quickest way for you to get a feel for a dating coach’s philosophies.

  • Is her/his information is impactful to your life?
  • Do you find yourself desiring more information after reading an article?
  • Does she/he offer a fresh perspective and push you to see things differently?

Qualifications

There aren’t any concrete “dating coach” qualifications. Some coaches developed their philosophies through studying books or taking classes, while others developed their skill set more from real life experiences. Some coaches have both (school and real-life) backgrounds.

Great coaches come from all walks of life… but so do under qualified ones.

If it’s unclear what qualifies her/him to be a dating coach from their website— do yourself a favor and ASK during the consultation.

You deserve a dating coach that can meet your personal needs.

Experience with Online Dating

person-woman-apple-hotel-2The dating world is becoming more and more digital every day. While online dating isn’t the only way to meet a potential partner, it is a great modern tool when utilized the right way.

Many singles find themselves frustrated with online dating (and rightfully so!).

If you’ve ever tried online dating, you realize that no one can understand what it’s actually like to online date simply through research.

Online dating is something you have to experience first hand.

Some dating coaches have personally experienced online dating while others have gained insights through working with clients currently active on dating sites.

Either way, your dating coach should be familiar and experienced in modern ways of dating. If they aren’t— how are they going to guide you through the modern dating world?

Amount of Support

One reason you’re hiring professional help is to provide you support. Dating can be extremely emotional. Having a dating coach as a trusted and objective voice is extremely beneficial. Make sure you understand the degree that your coach will be involved in-between scheduled meetings.

Some coaches feel it’s best to only communicate during your scheduled meetings. I’ve also seen packages that coaches offer a set number of “extra calls” (ex: 1 ten minute call per month) or emails (ex: 3 per week) for moments that a client needs immediate guidance. At times, access to more contact can be added on for an additional cost (ex: unlimited emails, 3 phone calls, 10 texts for $x, etc.)

Other dating coaches offer unlimited support and contact throughout the entire time you’re working together. This allows the utmost support from your coach. These coaches typically enjoy receiving “update” emails in-between scheduled meetings and are available to offer “laser coaching” via email, text, or phone calls when immediate guidance is needed (pre-date, post date, how to handle a situation, etc).

No matter if there’s a limited or unlimited communication— it’s important for you to understand how the communication will be handled before hiring a coach:

  • How often can you contact her/him?
  • Is she/he only available through email?
  • Within what time frame will you get a reply?

This type of information should be revealed during a consultation call. If the coach doesn’t offer the information— ask!

Obviously, unlimited support is ideal. This extra access is extremely valuable and sets clients up for quicker success. Consider how much support you’d like to receive from a dating coach. Understand the amount you’ll receive before deciding which coach to hire.

Personal Development Plan

You’re seeking professional guidance because you’ve come to the realization that what you’ve been doing isn’t working. It’s time for a change.

During your consultation, find out how your coach plans to help you grow as an individual. Discover how he/she will ultimately provide you with the tools necessary to find love:

  • What will you discuss during your scheduled meetings?
  • What topics will your coach lead you through?
  • Are you given any assignments that will foster growth in-between meetings?
  • Does your coach provide self-assessment worksheets or other written material?

Whatever your potential coach’s personal development plan for you is— you should be excited about it! Coaching is about taking you from where you are now and helping you get to where you want to be in your life… will this particular dating coach provide you with those stepping stones?

In order to grow, you must be willing to take responsibility and do the work necessary. Make sure you have the right coach that actually has a developmental plan to aide you during the process.

Consultation

pexels-photo-29594This is THE most important step in the screening process. Hiring a coach is an investment: financially, personally, time-wise, and emotionally. If you’ve found a coach you’re interested in— take advantage of the consultation.

Consultations are a way for the coach and potential client to get a read on how well they’d work together.

The purpose of a consultation call is not to receive coaching (you can’t make a dramatic change in 15-30 minutes anyway).

The purpose of a consultation is for both the potential client and the coach to gain information on each other and decide if they should work together.

During the call feel free to ask any questions you might have (qualifications, how often you will meet, how often you will communicate, scheduling availability, etc) and discover if the coach can meet your specific needs. The coach should be utilizing the consultation call to determine if the client is right for them, develop a personalized plan, and discover if you will work well together.
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Red Flags

A red flag in the dating world means, “Warning! Run away! Avoid, avoid, AVOID!

Red flags mean the same thing when searching for the right dating coach. Here are a few signs you might want to move on and keep looking for the right coach:

1. Gimmicks or Tricks

If you come across a coach that offers the “one” solution to all your dating problems… keep moving. Gimmicks and tricks are short term solutions that can cause further long-term damage to your love life.

There’s no “one way” to ask someone on a date, get them to fall in love with you, or win their heart. You are a unique individual and deserve an approach personalized to you.

2. False Promises

 “Attract Anyone You Want”, “Find Your Soulmate in 30 Days”, and “How to Make Him Stay” are REAL headlines I’ve seen! If it sound too good to be true… it is!

Dating coaches need to be honest with their potential clients: change can be hard! While working with a coach can be extremely positive and life changing… it’s not always easy to shift your behavior or perspective. False promises do not set you up for long-term success.

3. Change You

A dating coach should shift your perspective and evaluate your behaviors. A dating coach (or any type of life coach) should never attempt to change you.

After working with your coach, you should be more in touch with your authentic self than ever before. This is the only way you can attract the deeply meaningful relationship that you desire.

4. Accepts Any Client

Working well together is imperative for your development. Dedicated life coaches chose this career path because they enjoy helping people.

Just as you deserve a dating coach that can meet your specific needs, a coach should only work with a client they’re confident they can help.

Proceed cautiously if your potential coach doesn’t screen you just like you’re screening them.

Learn more:  What Most Dating Coaches Won’t Tell You.

Get Started!

If you’re ready to live your best life, grow as an individual, and find love— you’re ready to work with a dating coach. Do your research, get your questions answered, and find a coach you’re excited to do some deep inner-work with.

Find the coach that will increase your confidence and arm you with strategic actions you can utilize while dating. If you’re truly relationship-ready, then working with the right dating coach will greatly transform your life.

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