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How to Get Men to Approach You

How do you get men to approach you?

Answer: Be Approachable!

I know, I know… easier said then done.

(Don’t worry… I’m about to SHOW you how!)

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Often times, the toughest hurdle for singles to jump over is simply initiating that first conversation.

Men typically carry the burden of initiating that first conversation. This can be extremely nerve wrecking because many times when a man approaches a woman, she doesn’t give him the time of day. There’s definitely a balance– just like with first date touching.

No one wants to feel rejected. Smart men are not going to approach you if you’re sending the vibe that his advances won’t be accepted.

If you’re really ready to meet your one, then it’s time to start being open to that possibility each day. When you’re locked in a routine (go to work, go to the gym, go grocery shopping, etc) it’s extremely easy to unknowingly send out the “unavailable vibe”…which will naturally keep single men away.

Even worse, you could be subconsciously carrying that same vibe to social situations. While out (like at a bar, restaurant, coffee shop) many single and available women don’t even realize how unapproachable they are.

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It’s time to open yourself up, talk to new men, and make yourself more approachable.

→I’m going to show you how.


How To Get Men To Approach You

➤ Let Those Walls Down!

I believe every woman has the luxury of concrete walls built high around her. The purpose of these walls is to protect her, but they can get in the way of allowing noble suitors into the castle.

Take Control Over Your Walls Walls

When I was newly divorced and single, letting my walls down to meet new men was extremely difficult.

⇒ You must acknowledge your walls so that you can control how high they are.

I remember the moment when I truly felt and acknowledged my walls.

While grocery shopping, an attractive man caught my attention in the produce section. In the moment that I briefly glanced at him, he glanced back at me. He smiled, pushed his cart to walk down the same isle as me, and proceeded to look at apples right next to me.

What did I do? I did what came naturally to me: I felt my heart start to race so I quickly diverted my glance (in fact, I’m pretty sure I looked the opposite way!), stiffened up my posture, and moved past him to finish grocery shopping.

I kept my eye out for him as I checked out, but didn’t see him. Even if he had seen me again, do you think he would have initiated conversation? No way!

My body language basically said to him, “You’re looking at me and that’s creepy. I don’t even want to keep looking at apples next to you. Access DENIED.

Why would he want to relive that feeling again?  He wouldn’t.

Now, maybe he was simply smiling at me to be nice. Maybe he had apples on his grocery list. Who knows… either way: as a single and available woman, I let my walls get the best of me in that moment.

It’s Not Just At the Grocery Store

If this was the vibe I was sending out at the grocery store… then how was I coming across to available men when I went out with my girlfriends? Probably the same way!

When your body to goes into “auto pilot,” it sends out those same unwelcoming signals across multiple situations.

This grocery store moment stands out to me because it’s when I realized I must take control of my walls and open myself up to meeting new people.

If your vibe says, “Don’t talk to me”… they won’t!

 

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➤ Don’t Walk Like a New Yorker!

In the streets of New York, it appears that everyone is on a time sensitive mission.

Walking iPhoneNew Yorkers walk with a purpose. Their eyes are focused on either the path ahead or their phone while they walk briskly past anyone in their way.

Great for getting to a location on time? Yes!

Great for meeting new people? No!

It’s fine to “walk like a New Yorker” on the streets of New York… but don’t do this when you’re out with girlfriends or even running simple errands.

Every new situation brings the opportunity of meeting someone new!

Slow down, take a deep breath, and make eye contact with those around you.


 ➤ Smile

SmilingSmiling is the gateway to conversation.

No one wants to talk to someone unfriendly… especially an unfriendly stranger!

In certain social situations (blind date, meeting new people, etc.) it’s natural to be a little nervous or anxious. When we’re not feeling completely comfortable, it often times shows in our face.

Unfortunately, you may be the most friendly person out there, but your “nervous” face probably doesn’t show it.

 

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Wear a Statement Piece

When a man is interested in approaching you, he’ll look for a way to start a conversation.

A statement piece is like bait…. it gives him something to easily initiate a conversation about.

Have you ever been to one of those bachelorette parties where everyone wears those obnoxious sashes, buttons, or crowns? How many times did men approach your group? Throughout the entire night, right?

The reason IS NOT because men like sashes, buttons, or crowns.

The reason is because those accessories provide an extremely easy conversation starter.

Now, I’m NOT saying to wear a tacky button or sash… but I am suggesting you understand the general concept behind it.

vintage Neckalce

I have a unique vintage looking statement necklace that I love (that’s it on the right!). I’m the first to admit: it’s not “guy pretty” at all. Men don’t get trends and they don’t “get” this necklace at all.

They do, however, see the necklace as a conversation starter. When I was single and wore this necklace out, men would almost always take the bait. I’d hear things like, “Nice necklace,” and “Wow! That’s quite the sparkly necklace!” throughout the night.

Did these guys actually love my necklace? I doubt it… but it was something easy for them to start a conversation around.

One of my girlfriends wears trendy head bands (you know, like the super cute girly ones from Anthropology I wish I could pull off). Every time we were out, men always walked up and complimented her “hair thing”.

Does that mean men like head bands? Probably not.

Once again: it stands out and is something to easily start a conversation around.

Next time you’re trying to figure out what to wear when going out— don’t shy away from pieces that make you stand out. While statement pieces aren’t typically a great choice for an actual first date, they’re definitely a great choice to increase your approachability.

Statement pieces can become the bridge that starts a first conversation.


➤ Being Approachable- It’s A Decision

If you’re ready to find love, begin with making a conscious decision to be more approachable. How you think you’re coming across isn’t always how you are coming across.

Don’t fall prey detrimental dating myths that are keeping you single: Mr. Right isn’t going to just show up at your front door… but he’s out there! Start embracing all the possibilities that each situation may bring and open yourself up to attracting new conversations.


 

➤ Start Meeting Great High-Quality Single Men

In fact… instead of waiting on a great, high-quality single man to approach you… why don’t you start actively meeting them?

Have you ever wondered….

 

 

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