3 Dating Myths That Are Keeping You Single
Since the time you were a little girl, you’ve been flooded with images of what love is supposed to look like. Movies, T.V. shows, books, your upbringing, and even your friend’s advice can cause you to develop certain romanticized myths about dating. Unfortunately, believing these common dating myths are actually keeping you single.
Letting go of these false beliefs will allow you to approach dating in a more realistic manner. Hanging on to these 3 detrimental dating myths (and these 3 relationship myths) could be standing your way of the loving relationship you desire.
3 Dating Myths
– That Are Keeping You Single –
Dating Myth #1: Love will happen once you stop looking for it.
Let’s be real honest with each other here. While you are a beautiful, successful, and amazing woman…
There are a few things you aren’t:
1. A Disney Princess
Your Prince is not out there tirelessly searching for you this very moment. He’s not going to suddenly show up and save you from your entire life. If he is… when he shows up tell him it’s too late. Disney Princesses are happily ever after between the ages of 14 to 19. While you don’t look a day over 18, you probably are.
2. Rachel from Friends
While you do have a great group of friends (and you probably love coffee shops too) Mr. Right is probably not sitting in your social circle obsessing over his true love for you. As we mature in our careers and hobbies, our social circle becomes more about quality over quantity. Chances are at this point you’ve exhausted the possibilities of your man being part of your immediate social circle. (Which is one of the reasons you should try online dating and work on being more approachable.)
3. Allie from The Notebook
Your perfect match isn’t currently busy building your dream house for you. Even if he is, he probably should speak to you prior to deciding how big your closet will be. It would be really disappointing if in order to be with him you had to breakup with 1/2 of your shoes.
–Need I go on?–
Think about it this way: becoming a savvy career woman did not “just happen” to you. You put effort into the process of becoming who you are professionally.
If a newly graduated 20-something-year-old woman said to you, “I’ll find the right career once I stop looking for it,” your eyes would hit the back of your head.
Dating is an active process. You must create opportunities for love to happen in your life.
Dating Myth #2: You just know instantly.
So many singles have the belief that when you meet “the one” you will instantly just know. Fireworks will go off within, baby angels will fly down from heaven, and butterflies will sing to you that the search is finally over.
This dating myth is standing in your way of finding the lasting love you desire.
Think about one of your closest girlfriends. (Got her?)
When did you feel like you actually knew the real her? Was it after your first meeting?
The answer is no— because we are complex beings. You knew you had a great friendship with her after you spent time together, shared experiences, and proved to each other what kind of friend you are through actions.
From the first meeting you may have known that there was potential to be close friends, but you certainly didn’t know for sure to what depths.
Most of us have had the experience (even if you have to think back to high school or college) where a guy you had zero interest in suddenly becomes your crush. You went from zero initial attraction to suddenly seeing him for the hottie he is.
Why? Because you can’t know instantly.
Stop allowing yourself to make rash judgements based on the initial meeting. It’s impossible for you to truly know a man after just meeting or just one date.
Dating Myth #3: I shouldn’t contact him after a date.
I completely understand where this mentality is coming from. You’re right in concluding that you shouldn’t chase a man.
I’m NOT telling you to pursue him… I’m simply telling you to give him a Green Light.
Single men have to face an incredible amount of rejection in the dating world today. Most men have taken women on dates only to never hear from them again. They’ll buy women drinks and often receive the cold shoulder. Men will send multiple online dating messages and not receive any responses.
Don’t get me wrong— we have our fair share of troubles in the dating world too! I’m just trying to give you a glimpse into their experience.
Give him a lil’ Green Light.
Every now and then, it’s important to give him a Green Light. A Green Light is simply a way of saying, “If you contact me, I won’t blow you off,” or “If you ask me out again, I’ll say yes.”
If you had a great time on the date, let him know! If you’d like to see him again, tell him! This can easily be conveyed in ONE text message following a date. You can either send him a text message immediately after the date:
“I’m home safe and sound. Thank you again for the drinks. I had a great time and really enjoyed our conversation. Goodnight!”
Or wait until the next day:
“Good morning. I just wanted to thank you again for the fun evening last night. I keep laughing when I think about the college story you shared. What a fun evening.”
Green Light successfully lit… the ball is now in his court.
Let go of those Dating Myths!
While I’m all about romance, I’m also all about realities. Once you rid yourself of these common myths about the dating process, the sooner you’ll be on the right path towards your forever man.
You’re an amazing, unique, and beautiful woman that deserves to be in an unconditionally loving relationship. He’s out there!